Snow in the desert

No matter how many times I tell my three year old that the Pilbara is only likely to get snow during the next ice age, or in a parallel universe, or when the proverbial freezes over, she continues to ask when it’s going to arrive.

Maybe you’ve got the answer. I mean, if you're going to live in a desert which does a good job of flowing with money, palm trees which gather flies and eggs which fry themselves on the road, then why not snow as well? 


It's the Pilbara. Anything's bloody possible!

Frosty

Whatdya mean Karratha?

Or…grrr… not Newman too?!

Not getting’ me to Panna

Or Para-what? Paraburdoo!

Get stuffed, have to pay me,

An awful lot for sure,

Cause you’re not getting me to Wickham

Or Samson or Roebourne, what’s more.

I’m on the tightest schedule,

You know I am the man?

I’m sure that you do realise

That heat’s not in my plan.

So nup. That’s a no to Hedo.

A no to Port South.

A no to outback Warralong

And Jigalong – read my mouth!

So… that’s what happened at Christmas,

When Santa outsourced himself

And subcontracted all his talents,

Reindeer, wife and elf.

You see, he’d had a big night out

At an early Christmas party

And done his back with a big fair whack

And boompf! Weren’t feeling hearty.

“I do not want to give this up,

My duty to mankind,

But alas, I’ve sent out forms for

Application, if you mind.”

Just like one bloke he’d wrangled

For, well, double the overtime rates -

A friend of a cousin who had a friend

Who was friends with someone’s mate,

So, the north west heat of WA

Got stuck with a bloke named Frosty

Who was, funnily enough, with a carrot nose stuck

And in scarves looked rather bossy

I know, a snowman really sucks

For delivering to the desert

So up in the greatest north north west

They prayed for, (what else?) a blizzard.

And lordy be on Christmas Eve

With Santa workers compo

The god or gods or angels or stars

Must have thought they’d just gone bonkers, 

that 30 000 hot sweaty folk

Who all loved cyclones and sun

Were still praying hard on the 24^th

For a fierce snow storm to come.

And lo and behold on Christmas Day

It was snowing in the Pilbara skies

And Frosty did his job for Santa Claus

And we all ate hot mince pies.